by Jessica Northey 

First of all…HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!

I wonder how much of what I write and post is actually “Social Media” in your eyes?  It’s distributed via Social Media, but it’s just my thoughts.  I really do hate to give advice, but seem to love to give my opinion, and yes it’s true, I can be a bit bossy.  However, I am not the type to write, ‘how to’s‘ that try to sell and/or tell people, ‘this is what I think you should do‘; that’s just never been my way.  Mostly because after 15+ years experience in traditional media I recognize, there is NOT one right way to do things, and the minute you think you got it dialed in, everything changes.

Just consider my thoughts as experience talking.

I am not perfect. I am not a qualified therapist, nor do I consider myself to be some kind of guru in the Social Media world. I am just a girl who dreamed up some ideas, and fearlessly went after them.

The point of this post is somewhere between your two ears. The garden, that is your mind. Some years ago, I starting saying “I need to pull some weeds” when I had thoughts that made me feel uneasy or uncomfortable in my own skin.  I would shamelessly, talk to a friend/family member, and pull them weeds out of my head!  There is so much power in telling someone *safe* your crappy thoughts, and getting them, the heck out of your brain. I caution you, be very selective with who you talk to. Not everyone is trustworthy, and you may want to hit up a professional, or even a member of the clergy when stuff seems just too big.

Like the way you approach gardening in your yard, here are some basic tools I try to use to keep sane, online and off:

-Some dirt is harder to grow in
weeds
First and foremost being around toxic people is not conducive to growth, and pretty much guarantees some crappy thoughts. I was once involved in a friendship that was sold to me as love and support, about 3 months in, realized it was bullying and adhering to this person’s way of thinking. NO BUENO, and  guaranteed to produce weeds. When you see red flags, pay attention! Someone who tells you, “don’t trust this person”, “don’t talk to that person”, or tells you other people’s secrets, is probably telling yours!

-Don’t feed the weeds.
When you give too much attention to negative thoughts you are taking away from the positive ones.  Obsessing about things you have no control over doesn’t help either. You do the best work you can do, plan the plan, and then let the outcome be what it is meant to be. Sounds a little zen, but really works like a charm.

-Pull from the roots
You have to be willing to dig deep, and pull that sucker out….and then throw it away.  The key to letting go IS letting go. It is always a process and pretty much everything I let go of, usually has claw marks.  But I am getting better at not “should’ing” on myself, or carrying around BS that’s not mine. Not gonna lie, it can be hard. Just surround yourself with people who support you.

-Cut back  at the top
Sometimes you can’t get all the way to the root, but you need to get the weed before the “seed rain” begins. Look at situation, write it down and weigh out the pros and cons.  When you take inventory you can make a decision about how much more of your time you want to invest.

-Let the Sunshine in
Most plants need sunshine to grow. You can look at the bad things that happen and chose to wallow in the darkness, or make a decision to learn from it and become a better person.  I chose to believe there is way more good in the world if you just look for it.  I try to stay really close to the people who have positive energy, and if you look at any of my Social Media streams, you will see who I talk to a lot and retweet/repost/reshare a lot. Those are my peeps and the sunshine in my life!

-Water the stuff you want to grow
This is similar to sunshine, and sounds like a no-brainer, right. Just know, if you look for it and are open to it, you will attract good things into your life!  You can’t just “wish” thing to happen. You have to work. I hear people say all the time, “how come all these great things are happening to other people and not me.”  Maybe they just worked harder than you, or it was their time. You can’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides and if you are, and want what someone else has, you have to be willing to do what they did. FIND those people, WATCH those people and LEARN from those people. The proof is in the walk, not the talk.

HEY LIFE…..bring it on!!!!!!!