My buddy, #DadChat and “A Dad’s Point-of-View” Radio Host  Bruce Sallan wrote a post about disappointment the other day. He always makes me think, and I have such high regard for  his passion, kindness and determination . If you don’t know him yet, giv’em a heller *that’s a hello/holler* especially if you are a parent, or even a child of a parent.

from Money9111.com

I was a guest Co-Host on Mack Collier’s #BlogChat  Sunday April 15, 2012 and our topic was:  “How to balance personal and professional on your blog.”   

Although it might seem unrelated to Social Media, the ability to be transparent and let others get to know you, is a key ingredient for connecting online. It would be easy for me to say that my life is all about sunshine, rainbows and puppies, but I AM human.  To me, Social Media and Social Networking is about letting you know that I am a real person, with real emotions behind my Avatar.

PERSONABLE OR TOO PERSONAL?

What’s too much? Too little? Not enough?

I live in a world where me, myself and I ARE my profession. Meaning who I am and what I am about, is all I have, and everything I am.

Good, bad and ugly, what you see is what you get.  Sometimes I am insecure, over zealous, too ambitious, move like a tornado, talk a lot when excited or nervous, curmudgeony now and again, snarky, sassy, smart-arse, indifferent, and often misunderstood. Fair minded, good-intentioned but not always classy, and on occasion a little crass.  Like most people, I admit that yes I want everyone to like me, and would love to like everybody; BUT not all puzzle pieces fit in the same picture, and that’s OK because there are as many puzzles, as there are people in this world.

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” ~ Bill Cosby.

Not everyone is your customer or consumer. That’s just the way the cookie bounces and the ball crumbles. When I did broadcast advertising sales there were always clients who wanted to advertise on a specific station, because it was the station that they watched or listened to. IF people LIKE you, ARE your best customer, that’s fine. But if you sell lifted Truck kits and want to advertise on the “Easy Listening” station, there might be a d-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t.

My point: you are NOT for everyone, and inevitably WILL disappoint someone. Disappointment is the cousin of expectations, and expectations are nothing but premeditated resentments.  Not everyone has an open mind so you have to make a decision what information about yourself you feel comfortable putting out there.  I actually ended up taking a bit of lashing during out #BlogChat discussion about balance between personal and professional when I noted that I don’t worry about what other people think of me, including my spelling/grammar mistakes. YES, I strive to be a better writer and make LESS mistakes. This is all new to me and  I write from my heart, so it often comes out *exactly* like I talk and or am thinking. I hope the people I attract look for the meaning behind my words. If you don’t, you WON’t like me, and like the title of this post says, I might disappoint you.

Let me be clear, transparency and authenticity are GREAT but speaking of your divorce, drug usage, mental problems or erectile dysfunction might border on uncomfortable for your reader; and if you are representing you, your brand or your company, could be disastrous. Unless you are in therapeutic industry, or sell Viagra, you might want to use the same PR rules that you do for your advertising/marketing plans. Determine your goals and manage your own expectations and decide for yourself what the line between personable and too personal is for you and your industry.

There are rule breakers in every industry. Mine has Blake Shelton and his enigmatic use of Twitter, as a vehicle to connect, engage and entertain followers. He is often snarky, sarcastic, drunk tweets, engages haters and really funny. Shelton who made his Country Music debut in 2001 with single Austin  has charted over 20 singles (including 11 #1′s), including nine Number One hits, but caught my eye when he started using Twitter as a way to express his socialality…..and that he does!  He is known for going to battle with PETA in his anecdotal way, and making outrageously funny comments to followers, including dialog with his “family jewels.” There was a day when most people in the Country Music industry, would call this  scandalous, however it REALLY works for him and people are drawn to absolute transparency.

Be Yourself Everyone Else Is Taken

Now you see other Country Music artists trying to emulate Blake’s tweeting, but it doesn’t work for them and can really turn you off. It is all about the connection you have to fans/followers, not just online but I.R.L. (in real life) like at happy hour, soccer games, church, work, meetings etc. Start by taking a good long look at yourself, your company and product. Finding and defining your audience, as it relates to your industry and personal experience, could be the missing ingredient to your success online. Lots of people gave me solicited and unsolicited advice in the beginning about my Social Media usage. They would say my website and logo are too pink, the name of my company is silly, I’m too loud, I tweet too much, I should dress more conservatively, my hair is too blonde, going niche with country music and social media is a big mistake… ha. ha. ha.

Today, tomorrow, next week last year I prefer to run my own race cause, it works for me.

“When you are real you don’t mind being hurt…..When you are real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand,” ~ Velveteen Rabbit

I have my close friends online and off, they know me and what I am about. It ain’t always pretty. That’s just life.  I been around awhile and lived through the ‘shiny new syndromes’, the ‘fakes’, the ‘hypocrisy’ and the ‘trying to sell snake oil’, the really cool people I have met along the way, don’t co-sign my B.S. contracts, and I don’t sign theirs. I don’t being wrong or eating crow, I consider constructive criticism a gift.

“Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty but the pig likes it.” One of my oldest and dearest friends, is Political Pundit Rachel Campos-Duffy and she gave me that great advice from George Bernard Shaw awhile back. After being on a reality TV Show, Host of  ABC’s The View and guest on many political programs, she ought to know. Let that sink in!  The next time someone is trying to egg you on, or talking derogatory to you online just know if don’t apply, let it fly. I see people defending their views, actions and practices in ways that make them look anemic. NEVER apologize for doing something you believe in. If you hurt someone and realize the damage, it’s best to make amends where appropriate but if they won’t accept your best foot forward and stay mad: move on. AND never to kowtow or engage a bully online.  No one has power over you that you don’t give them.

“Tell the truth, Make it matter & Never be boring.” ~ Valerie Geller

I am aggressive, driven, selfish at times, determined, ambitious, impatient, sensitive, emotional and always complicated and if anyone wants to point fingers at me realize there are 3 pointing back at you. If you spot it you got it, so if you don’t like something about me, or someone else GUESS WHAT?  >>> It is more than likely something you don’t like about yourself.

DEFINE YOUR GOALS, MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS

No matter what advertising medium you are engaged in it comes down to this: the right message, to the right people, the right amount of times. What is that? It’s different for everyone but it starts with determining your goals to manage your own expectations.

Do you have stories about this subject? I would love to hear them!