Envy is thought to be an ugly emotion, even identified as a “deadly sin”. Characterized as feeling as though someone else has something you think that you deserve, some people refer to it as jealousy, and others think envy is fine in some ways because it helps us define what we want from life.
It can also depend on context the subject of envy is talked or thought about. Advertisers bank on your envy when choosing celebrity endorsers to drive sales. The newest Birkin Bag, Jimmy Choos or fully loaded Mercedes; you won’t see the Average Joe on your TV or favorite website fashioning these items.
You might see what you think is the end result of what someone else has done with their life and want what they have. But are you willing to go to the same lengths that they went through to get there?
Plainly put, if you want what someone has you have to be willing to do what they did. But what did they do? We love to admire the neighbor’s yard but until we have to mow the lawn in their 4 inch pumps, we have absolutely no idea what they go through.
Comparing Your Insides to Other Peoples Outsides
Looking to others for your own self worth, can cause great destruction. Putting someone else on a pedestal prevents equality and opportunity for you, to just be yourself. (It can also be devastating when they fall off.)
To quote Debbie Allen’s character Miss Grant, in the opening segment of 1980’s TV Show Fame, “You’ve got big dreams? You want fame? Well, fame costs. And right here is where you start paying…in sweat.”
I would hope that no one is envious of me, but am sure that some people might think I got it easy or that good things keep coming to me. My first year in business I ate peanut butter/jelly sandwiches, ramen noodles, and sometimes didn’t run the heat or AC so I could make ends meet. My first Christmas in business for myself, there were no presents under the non-existent tree. Fake it ‘til you make it’ my Grampa always told me.
Each of our lives offer a unique journey, symbolized by our very own set of footprints. We all have something that is only ours to give. No two people exactly the same. We don’t need to compete to be noticed. Comparison’s where someone has to lose, bring a dark moment, and often diminishes the feeling of success.
Social Media is a microcosm of the world; bringing together many personalities, all struggling to belong in the Digital realm, find their place and discover where they fit in.
AND YES-even I am guilty of wanting to fit in. I will eat some crow and cop to being part of some things I should have never involved myself in. I am not anyone’s judge or jury and managing my own self will run riot is a full time job! But I am human having a “real life in real time” experience. It’s absolutely normal for us to all to want to belong and to be involved in something that feels like a community whether on Facebook or at work. It’s also part of Maslow’s theory on the hierarchy of needs: acceptance from others.
Envy eats at us, interferes with our interactions and can deny us the freedom to achieve what can be ours when we realize all that we are capable of becoming. Being a trailblazer or running on the front line comes with costs and sometimes casualties, more often than not, your personal life. No one seems to want to look at what you sacrificed because that’s “not sexy” enough.
There is really no need to be so hard on others and/or tear them down to build you up. *consider yourself an ‘other’ here*
Do you think the online world creates more envy because it’s harder to get the whole story?
Tiara tip to Suzanne Vara, Margie Clayman and Peg Fitzpatrick whom I *envy* in a good way for their kindness, strength of character and compassion for others. I must be doing something right to be friends with them and get blogging advice. *pinch me* I am dreaming in real time.